Today, the majority of people who receive a cancer diagnosis go on to live for at least five more years.
Yet the word “cancer” can put you face to face with your mortality—all while plunging you into a busy treatment schedule, unexpected medical expenses and challenging side effects. On top of that, you may still need to take care of your family and earn a living.
It’s a lot.
How do you cope with cancer while managing a busy life? There’s no one right answer, but we have some suggestions to get you started.
Finding Your Peace, Mind, Body and Spirit
If you have recently learned that you have cancer, people may suggest you stay positive or try to live a normal life. This may not always be possible. Cancer can have a “profound psychosocial impact” on people younger than 50, as one cancer researcher explains.
As you move through disease and life, you will continue to grow and change as a person. To some extent, it’s up to you how you navigate your cancer experience.
The American Psychological Association finds some coping strategies especially helpful as you balance adult responsibilities, cancer treatment and self-care.
- Counseling. Approaches include cognitive behavioral therapy, which helps you take charge of thinking patterns that aren’t working for you, and meaning-centered therapy, which focuses on your meaning and purpose in life.
- Mindfulness. Set aside time for inner stillness and reflection. Practices such as meditation or prayer play an important role in a healthy lifestyle. If you don’t know any mindfulness techniques, consider learning some in a group setting.
- Peer support. Find a support group made up of people at your stage of life. It helps to share experiences with others navigating cancer under similar circumstances.
Practical Coping: Identify the Essentials
With cancer, your energy is a precious resource. Before spending it on a demanding task, do a bit of triage:
- Do you actually need to do the task, or do you just feel you should? You need to brush your toddler’s teeth, but mismatched socks won’t hurt them.
- Can someone else do it? Delegate whenever you can.
- Can you do it more easily? Prepare one-pot dishes that will last several meals (hello, savory soup) or buy disposable plates for when you know you won’t be up to dishwashing.
- Can you hire it out, or is there a program for it? If you can afford it, this is the time for meal delivery or shopping services. Free programs may also be available for those in need.
The American Cancer Society has plenty of other resources and tips for managing daily life with cancer.
Coping With Others: Helping the Helpers
When times get hard, Mister Rogers said to look for the helpers. If you’re coping with a cancer diagnosis, your friends and family can be your biggest allies. They can also be exhausting.
A cancer diagnosis affects everyone, even if they don’t know how to show it. Young children may need extra comfort and reassurance that you aren’t leaving them, while well-meaning adults may foreground their own feelings about your cancer. Often, people just need those big feelings pointed in the right direction.
- Ask for what you need. A child can bring you a snack and a blanket while you lie on the sofa. An adult can run an errand or look in on the parent you usually check up on.
- Tell them what you don’t need. Be kind, but firm. “I’m too tired to talk right now, but your call matters a lot.”
- Let them be the leaders. Give yourself permission to get out of the driver’s seat. If you have a spouse, partner or close friend who has the desire and ability, trust them to handle some things on their own. That could mean taking charge of conversations with doctors, stepping in as caregiver for children, or wrangling bills and insurance.
Remember, cancer is difficult for everyone. It can feel good for family members to rise to the occasion as caregivers, but it can also feel frightening or exhausting. Be honest and patient with one another as you figure this out together.
Call in the Professionals
Sometimes, people with cancer have bigger needs than friends and family can provide. Capital Health Cancer Center has dedicated services for cancer patients. We offer a variety of services to cancer patients and their caregivers:
- Nurse, patient and financial navigators help you understand treatment options, navigate medical appointments and understand billing and payments.
- Nutrition counseling helps keep you well-nourished during treatment.
- Support groups for patients and caregivers let you share feelings and advice.
- Oncology social work provides one-on-one counseling and connects you with local resources to meet your needs.
- Oasis Salon & Wellness Spa offers cancer-safe hair and nail treatments.
- Our Quit Smoking Program supports smoking cessation.
- Wellness programs include options for strength, fitness and mindfulness.
The Bottom Line: You Aren’t Alone
There’s an existential loneliness about facing a major disease. But even that aloneness is something we have in common as humans. However different cancer patients’ needs may be, each one needs practical support and loving companionship. Remember:
- Your life will change. It’s all right to rage and grieve as well as laugh and celebrate. You don’t have to be positive all the time.
- Be savvy about what you can and can’t do. Save your energy for healing.
- Look to your loved ones for support. Now is the time to rest in their care.
- Professional help matters. From cancer center support services to community organizations, there are plenty of kind, experienced people dedicated to your well-being.
Are you feeling overwhelmed by life with cancer? Capital Health Cancer Center Support Services offers programs, resources and guidance to improve your quality of life.